Sunday, March 16, 2014

Crystal Head Vodka Lamp

Have you ever heard of Crystal Head Vodka? If not, then have you ever heard of Dan Aykroyd? He's a little actor type dude, or at least he used to be. He was in the Ghostbusters movies and The Blues Brothers. Now I think he just owns a bar and a brand of vodka. It's called Crystal Head Vodka, and it comes in these really cool looking bottles that look like a glass head. Kinda cool. See?


I thought that this would look really neat if we made a lamp out of it. In the photo above the bottle is turned sideways and if you look closely you can see that we have drilled a hole in the side of the glass bottle down near the bottom.

First I ordered a string of 50 white fairy lights to put in to the glass skull. Then I bought a bunch of these red decorative, marble type things that people like to put in vases in order to give them color. After we put the lights into the bottle we filled it up with these red marble type things, hoping to have a really cool looking red skull lamp. And it was kinda cool looking, but it didn't put off very much light and it wasn't really all that red. And we also put black duct tape on his eyes.
Here it is all lit up. I guess the red marble things kind of muffled the light.

So I ordered a string of blue fairy lights, I think there are 40 on this one. We put them into the bottle and presto, we have a cool looking blue lamp. See?


Future plans call for a string of 40 red fairy lights and we will see how cool that is. They only cost about five dollars, and they come in about six or seven different colors. I guess you could change the color of your lamp to suit the occasion or your mood.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Book Update

I have had my book on Amazon, and for about four months now it has only been available for the Kindle. I have now formatted it and uploaded it to Smash Words. This means that it is available for the iPad, iPhone, Nook, Kobo, Sony e-reader and all of the other types of  e-readers. Here is a link to it, if you wish to check it out-

20% of the book is up there for a sample, so you can read quite a bit of it  to get a good feel for it  before you  purchase it.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Another Bottle Lamp

Here is another bottle lamp that we did. It says 1800 on the lid and I think it is a tequila bottle. How did we make this one? Read on.

First you take a bottle, very much like this one.

And then you get  your hands on a glob of lights,  very much like  these green ones.

What?  They don't look green?  Well they are,  trust me.

See? I told you. Okay, now here is the hard part.  You take your glob of lights ,  insert them into the predrilled hole  at the bottom of your bottle  and presto,  there you are.  One green bottle  lamp.

Those are LED lights and they are pretty bright,  especially when you get 100 of them going at once.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Let's Construct a Bottle Light

Guess what this is? If you guessed liquor bottle, then you would be correct. But it is also a lamp. Or you could call it a light. Or a light emitting device. Hell, I guess you could call it whatever you want, but it will end up emitting light.


Now, how did we go about constructing  such a device?   Read on.

 Obviously the first thing you will need is a bottle of some type.  Coke bottle, beer bottle,  liquor bottle, baby bottle,  perfume bottle,  whatever.  Lots of liquor bottles have unique shapes and designs  and end up looking pretty neat.

The second thing you need is some type of light  to stick inside your bottle. This is what we're going to use, a rope light. See?

And we wanted our bottle light to look cool, so we got a blue rope light. Actally we wanted it to be super cool,
so we got a long blue rope light,  a 16 footer.  See?  Doesn't it look supercool?

Okay, now that you have your light, shove your light into the bottle. Hmmm, how am I supposed to go about that, you may be wondering. Well, you need a hole at the bottom of your bottle so that you can push the light into. Kind of like this one.


Okay, and just how am I supposed to make this hole? Well, there are several ways to make holes in bottles, and my favorite way  is to use a high velocity bullet, but you can also use a handy dandy  electric drill.  You do have a handy-dandy electric drill, don't you?  Once you have procured your drill,  you can do it the way that they show in this video. (And this video also shows different designs and things on their bottle lamps.)

Now that you have your hole, start pushing the lights into it. In our case, we had a 16 foot rope light and I think the liquor bottle was a half-gallon one. Have you ever tried to shove a 16 foot rope light into a small, constricted,  half-gallon sized place that was not designed for a 16 foot rope light? Well if you have, you might know what I am about to say next. If you haven't, let me just say that it involves cursing, effort, cursing, sweat, cursing, blood, cursing, tears, a lot of time,  and perhaps some cursing. And what do you get in the end? Two hours later you end up with a half-gallon sized liquor bottle that still has a foot and a half of rope light protruding from it, and when you plug it in to see if the rope light still works after you have been  using a dowel rod  to help you shove and push it into a bottle, you find that it does not work. All of your effort  has now been negated. You have broken your rope light.

There is a lesson to be learned here. Do Not Break Your Rope Light! Not only will you be out $15 for the light, but you may very well have to use a sorry looking, substitute light in its place because your nephew  is the impatient sort and wants to  take  the bottle light home with him right then. Rope lights are not nearly as tough as they may at first seem.

So we used different lights, a string of Christmas tree lights. It is the kind that has a plug on both ends so that you can plug another string into it. Ordinarily it would not have fit into the hole, but we had a three-quarter inch hole to work with and by carefully trimming off bits and pieces of the plug on one end of the string of lights, we were able to persuade the lights into the bottle.

And this is what we ended up with. It didn't look nearly as cool as it would have with a 16 foot long blue rope light, but it will work and nephew was happy. There are all kinds of neat looking bottles out there and there are all kinds of neat looking lights out there. Do some experimenting and see what you can come up with.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Happy happy happy!

Check this out.

Do you know any girls like this? Girls that would be perfectly happy getting a gun mug, brick of 22 ammo, a couple of 25 round Ruger magazines and a pair of electronic earmuffs for Christmas? If you don't know any girls like this, keep looking. They are rather scarce, some might even go so far as to say they are an endangered species, but they do exist.

Check this out Check this out.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Somebody's Going to End up with a Neat Dirty Santa Gift


I don't know how well you can see those, so here are a couple of individual photos.

I kind of want to keep these to myself, mainly so that I don't end up with a flower vase,  or a box of chocolate covered pretzels or something.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Heat Your Room for Almost Free!

Know what this is? No, it is not a flowerpot. Well, technically I suppose it is a flowerpot, but for the sake of this post, it is a heater. A candle powered room heater specifically. Want to make one? Here's how. This is what you will need. 

Two flowerpots, a bolt, a couple of nuts and a candle or three.  You may also need a couple of washers, although they are not shown in this photo. And that is it.   Do not use  glazed  flowerpots,  just plain clay ones.

The construction of this heater is a long and difficult process,  consisting of the following:

1.  Take your bolt, put a washer on it , and insert it from the bottom  of the larger flowerpot .

2. Put a washer on the inside of the bolt,  place a nut on it,  and tighten it finger tight.

3. Place the smaller flowerpot onto the bolt, place another washer on the bolt, place a nut on the bolt and tighten it finger tight.

 Presto! You are done.  You have just constructed your very own , high-tech room heater. It should look something like this -


To go along with your superduper hi tech room heater, here are some high-tech instructions for using it-

Take your superduper high tech room heater- flowerpot thingy and place it upside down on a couple of supports,  kind of  like this-

Then you can also take your candle and light it as shown in the photo. And there you have it, your  heater  is now working. In the picture above you may notice that we have used boards to raise the  flowerpot up off the ground in order to make room for the candle and to allow it to get some air. This is not ideal,  and you should use  something nonflammable. to hold the flowerpot up.

It may take 30 minutes or so  before your flowerpot gets hot and begins putting off heat. And you also may want to put more candles underneath it  in order to make it work faster.  We did some scientific testing  to determine how much heat it was putting off.

 See this picture here,  with the plastic thermometer  sitting directly on top of the flowerpot?  Do not do this!  The bolt gets hotter than anything else, and this thermometer was leaning against it. After a few minutes it melted the back of the thermometer, requiring a different scientific testing procedure.  So what we did was to take a couple of small pieces  of wood and put them on top of the flowerpot, then we lay the thermometer down on top of these pieces of wood.  The thermometer was elevated probably an inch above the flowerpot and after an hour or so  it registered about 115°.  Even after two or three hours,  it never got hotter than that.

So,  does it work?

 Well yes, It does put off heat, but not a great deal of it. It works off the radiant heating principle, and it does take a little while. If you have a small room in your house that is not heated or if you have a room that is not heated well enough,  this may do the job. Or if you scattered two or three of them around the room,  it should work even better.  Candles are cheap , and so are flowerpots. This entire experiment cost maybe five dollars.

Warning! Using open flame like this is not for idiots.  If you do not feel qualified  to do something like this  without running the risk of burning down your house,  don't even think about it.  If you do not have enough common sense and are too stupid  to carry out something like this safely, then don't blame me  if you burn something  that didn't need burned.

 Here is a Short video that shows how to make one of these-

 The guy in the video got  a lot better results than I did,  but I kind of suspect that he was reading  the temperature off of the bolt. It gets hotter than anything else.  But then again, maybe I should have made a bigger one to start with.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Would you like a free book?

Do you remember that little book I wrote a little while back and that I put on Amazon? Well, it is still on Amazon and it is going to be available for free download up until midnight or so. Here is a link to it if you want to check it out-
Remember that little bug Remember that little book that I talked about a while back

Friday, November 15, 2013

Let's do an experiment and test some fire starters, shall we?

Yes, let's do so. It's been a while since we have done an experiment, so we shall. But these are not your ordinary, garden-variety fire starters. These are ultra modern, high-tech, man-made and mass-produced fire starters. See?

Here we have from left to right, Cheese Puffs, Tostitos, barbecue potato chips, and Fritos scoops. You may have seen a survival show on television that showed how Fritos are burnable. You may have heard whispers and rumors of the same. You may have not, and are now scratching your head and asking yourself if such a thing is indeed possible. You may not care at all and have already switched channels. If you do care, read on.

Here we are in our scientific testing laboratory, with our guinea pigs all laid out in a row in the same order. From left to right we have a Cheese Puff, a Tostito, a barbecue potato chip, and a Frito Scoop. All of our test subjects appeared to be in good working order and eager for the testing to begin.

All right. Let's light them up!

As you can see in this photo, most of the test subjects are now producing flame, some more than others. The cheese puff proved to be a bit obstinate and was difficult to light. And once ignited, it did not stay that way for more than 10 or 15 seconds at a time. The Tostito seems to be burning happily away, the potato chip a bit less so, and the Frito is putting off a cheerful amount of light.

A couple of minutes into the experiment, tragedy struck. As you can see in this photo, the Tostito has nearly extinguished itself as has the potato chip. They were not completely used up, they just went out. The Cheese Puff is still a fire, but only because we had reignited it multiple times. The Frito continues to blaze away, happy as can be.

We reignited the Tostito and it burned for another minute or so. We lit the other side of the potato chip and it also burned for a little bit.  The Frito continued to burn, all by itself.

Everyone likes to see the aftermath of scientific tests, so for your entertainment here is a blurry photo of the charred carcasses of the test subjects.

Now that the testing procedures are complete, what have we learned from this little experiment?

1. Cheese Puffs do not make good fire starters and are best used for their intended purposes .

2.Tostitos make for a fairly good firestarter, as long as you give them the proper attention.

3. Barbecue potato chips do not make particularly good fire starters, but they do happen to be quite tasty.

4. Fritos scoops are useful little creatures, serving multiple purposes.  Not only may you ingest them just as they are,  you may also scoop up delicious tidbits inside them before popping them into your mouth, and if you must, they make a good firestarter.   They light easily and the first one burned for approximately 4 minutes.  This was considered an impressive feat, so the experiment was conducted again and this time it lasted for three minutes.

 Folks the lesson here is that if you need a fire, try burning your food.