Friday, November 15, 2013

Let's do an experiment and test some fire starters, shall we?

Yes, let's do so. It's been a while since we have done an experiment, so we shall. But these are not your ordinary, garden-variety fire starters. These are ultra modern, high-tech, man-made and mass-produced fire starters. See?

Here we have from left to right, Cheese Puffs, Tostitos, barbecue potato chips, and Fritos scoops. You may have seen a survival show on television that showed how Fritos are burnable. You may have heard whispers and rumors of the same. You may have not, and are now scratching your head and asking yourself if such a thing is indeed possible. You may not care at all and have already switched channels. If you do care, read on.

Here we are in our scientific testing laboratory, with our guinea pigs all laid out in a row in the same order. From left to right we have a Cheese Puff, a Tostito, a barbecue potato chip, and a Frito Scoop. All of our test subjects appeared to be in good working order and eager for the testing to begin.

All right. Let's light them up!

As you can see in this photo, most of the test subjects are now producing flame, some more than others. The cheese puff proved to be a bit obstinate and was difficult to light. And once ignited, it did not stay that way for more than 10 or 15 seconds at a time. The Tostito seems to be burning happily away, the potato chip a bit less so, and the Frito is putting off a cheerful amount of light.

A couple of minutes into the experiment, tragedy struck. As you can see in this photo, the Tostito has nearly extinguished itself as has the potato chip. They were not completely used up, they just went out. The Cheese Puff is still a fire, but only because we had reignited it multiple times. The Frito continues to blaze away, happy as can be.

We reignited the Tostito and it burned for another minute or so. We lit the other side of the potato chip and it also burned for a little bit.  The Frito continued to burn, all by itself.

Everyone likes to see the aftermath of scientific tests, so for your entertainment here is a blurry photo of the charred carcasses of the test subjects.

Now that the testing procedures are complete, what have we learned from this little experiment?

1. Cheese Puffs do not make good fire starters and are best used for their intended purposes .

2.Tostitos make for a fairly good firestarter, as long as you give them the proper attention.

3. Barbecue potato chips do not make particularly good fire starters, but they do happen to be quite tasty.

4. Fritos scoops are useful little creatures, serving multiple purposes.  Not only may you ingest them just as they are,  you may also scoop up delicious tidbits inside them before popping them into your mouth, and if you must, they make a good firestarter.   They light easily and the first one burned for approximately 4 minutes.  This was considered an impressive feat, so the experiment was conducted again and this time it lasted for three minutes.

 Folks the lesson here is that if you need a fire, try burning your food.



  1. Campfires will never be the same now.

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