I know. How about a big block Chevy? Or an airplane motor? Or a jet drive. Wouldn't that be really cool?
Yes it would be cool. But I didn't happen to have those sort of things lying around at this exact moment. Besides that, a big block Chevy would take up too much room. There wouldn't be anywhere left to fish from. We would need something different.
Something simple would be nice.
After I thought about it for a little while I had my answer. Tarzan.
Huh? Tarzan? The jungle dweller? Is he going to come and push your boat around, you're probably wondering.
No sir. Not him. The natives.
What the hell are you talking about, you may be wondering.
Remember on Tarzan, the episode where he saves the nuns or something like that? At the end they are in a long dugout canoe with a couple of dozen natives paddling down the river singing Michael row the boat ashore? Then they reach the dock at last, let the nuns out onto the shore so they can go into the village and save people and then they all live happily ever after? Remember that one?
Well I do. And the answer is the natives.
OK. So you're going to get a couple dozen natives to paddle your boat around. Is that what you're telling me?
No. That's not what I'm saying. In this area we are experiencing a shortage of natives at the moment and there are few available. Besides that, I think all the natives the world over have gone high tech. They now have fuel injected outboards. Now instead of paddling, they can play on their iPod or cell phone as the motor pushes them along.
Aha. So a fuel injected outboard is the answer? Well, in most situations, yes. But not this one. We're going to take a lesson from the natives and use paddles. And we're going to make them.
What? Make a paddle? Who ever heard of such a thing? Wal-Mart has them for sale. Go get one.
I didn't want to get one. I wanted to make one.
OK then. How is it done? Are you going to serve as an apprentice to a world class paddle carver for years and years in order to learn this lost art? Are you going to go high tech, using only the latest super duper chemicals, carbon fiber, titanium and scandium and run it through a CNC machine to produce one? Are you going to resort to magic and wizardry?
Well, no. I'm going to use PVC pipe. And plywood.
How might this be done?
Well first you procure some PVC pipe. Make sure that you get the schedule 40 stuff. It is stronger. Get whatever size you desire, whatever diameter fits your hand the best.