10 thoughts to ponder

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 thought … Life is like a jar of Jalapeno Peppers … what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.