Folks, take good care of your peckers. Don't let yours end up old, flat, dried out and dead looking like mine is.

The pictures are sad and of a graphic nature.  I can only hope that they will serve as a warning to others so that you will give your pecker the appropriate amount of love, attention, exercise and nourishment that it needs to thrive.

We found the poor little critter in our lake cabin, crammed in between the bed mattress and the wall.  The only explanation is that he came down the chimney and somehow ended up in the bedroom, stuck and flattened.  I guess he will know better next time.  Let this serve as a lesson to you to keep your pecker out of overly tight situations and places they don't need to be.

Have you heard of that new sensation sweeping the globe called planking?  I dearly wanted to participate in some fashion or another so after many hours of training, we managed to accomplish some pecker planking.  Here he is enjoying lying on top of a couple of 20 gauge shells.

This is planking taken to its extreme and should not be attempted by the faint of heart.  He is delicately balanced on the end of a shotgun barrel.  You may have to turn your head sideways to get the full effect because I can't figure out how to get the picture turned the correct way.

If you can learn anything from my experience, if I can impart any little nugget of wisdom upon your brain it is this, Cherish your pecker, keep it healthy, give it proper care and it will reward you with many years of faithful service.