Monday, May 23, 2011

The end of the world

Like some of you others may have done, I forgot to disappear this weekend. When the world ended, I was still here. What is the deal? Did god for get to take me when the world ended? Was I merely overlooked? Did I have bad breath and no one wanted to take me? I can't tell for sure but for whatever reason, I did not participate in the end of the world this past weekend. I was at the lake and in fact, did not even notice when it happened. This is sort of what ocurred.

We went to the lake. Stopped in Shawnee for lunch at taco Bueno. Took note of wonderful speaker system at their drive through, voice was crisp, clear and understandable. Why can't they all be like this? Is that too much to ask? Took note of cute little oriental type girl that handed us our semi edible, semi Mexican food. Why doesn't she smile?. If she did, she could be really pretty. Decide that she doesn't smile because she makes minimum wage handing sacks full of semi edible, semi Mexican food to strangers. Oh well. Ate our food. Went into Walmart for vittles, munchables, and supplies for the weekend. Mother disappeared into the boring food section and guess where I headed? Nope. Guess again. Yep, straight to the sporting goods section. Checked out all the fishing equipment. Checked out guns. Took note of good deal on Remington bolt action rifle. Just the thing for deer blasting. Took note of good deal on semiautomatic BB pistol, 480 feet per second, 15 shots as fast as you can pull the trigger, $29.95.
It did cause me to ponder a purchase but perhaps for my birthday. Might want to stick it in my backpack just to have it handy in case of snake attack, grizzly bear encounter or sparrow uprising. After a whole freaking hour departed Walmart for the lake. Arrived at 6:00 PM. Toss out multiple dried out mouses stuck in glue traps. Clean cabin. Get tired, eat supper, go to sleep. Nice night, leave windows open.
2:00 AM
Awaken to dreadful noise. What could that be? A seal mission gone amok? Meth heads lost in the woods? A mountain lion stuck in the chimney? After a few minutes of deliberation, realize it is a mockingbird. Yes, you read that right. A freaking mockingbird. At 2:00 AM. And that sucker did not shut up all night long. Decide right then and there that if it happens another night will do something I've never done before. I will put out a contract on a bird, offering a bounty to whoever kills it. Normally I like seeing the wildlife going about their business and do not even mind their singing but these were abnormal circumstances. Steps must be taken to correct the situation.
Rains. As in all freaking day. Clean cabin. Light rain. Clean. Heavy rain. Clean. Heavy rain that drowns out all conversation. Vacuum. Light rain. Wipe things. Mist. Wash sheets. Heavy rain. Vacuum. Light rain again. Clean refrigerator. Probably two or 3 inches total. All freaking day. Cool night, windows were closed. If mockingbird sang all night did not notice.

Beautiful sunny day. Clean cabin. Observe mockingbird. Wonder if these are among his last days on earth? It's all up to him. Wonder if he will make the right choice? Clean, clean, clean. Cool night, leave windows open. Hear no abnormal noises. The mockingbird has chosen well. He wants to live. Good deal. Everyone is happy.

Beautiful day. Hot even. Clean. Vacuum. Wipe. Straighten. Cook delicious steaks and corn on the cob on the grill. Yummy yummy. Pack up, go home. Discover cow turds on our driveway. Scratch head in puzzlement. How could this be? Turns out, at home it rained 6 inches on Friday, washing cow turds out of the pasture and onto the driveway. Just lovely. Decide that perhaps we will get lucky and a tornado will come along and blow them away. Or perhaps a mentally deficient cow turd munching homeless person will come along and clean up the mess.

No comments:

Post a Comment